Many Malaysians have probably seen the Petronas Raya advertisement on TV (watch it on YouTube), where a couple are trying to take care of their old man that’s having alzheimer.
I am not sure what the ad want to present in the end, I wonder if it indicates that the couple was doing not enough, that we have to be more filial and learn to forgive.. whatever, the ad sure raise lots of thinking.
It’s perhaps managable to feed your old man, manage his pee and poo, for maybe a few months.. but how about years? Things like that are not as easy as it seem, and I don’t think many adults nowadays are prepared to take care of their alzheimer elders.
My grandma had alzheimer for the last 8-10 years of her life, and in late stages couldn’t handle anything at all.. couldn’t eat by herself and couldn’t handle washroom matters. Her brain was functioning like a 3 months old baby, and her body was functioning worse than that.
I’m always proud of my mum, she is a good mother, but she was a great daughter.. she took care of grandma very well. It’s not easy though, my mum had a few moments of nervous breakdown, especially when my grandma’s behavior started changing and became nasty.
I know I did enough as a grandchild during that period, but I’m not sure if I will be capable of taking care of my mother the way she took care of grandma if she gets alzheimer.
Having been through all the hazzles, my mum knows how difficult it is going to be, she already told us kids that if she gets alzheimer, just send her to a proper care center. I responded her that she’s going to stay with us regardless, we just have to make sure that we will be rich enough to hire a couple of maid and nurse.
That’s probably not the most touching answer I can give, but it sounds logical. If I am going to have kids I will suggest them the same idea if I get alzheimer.
Fact is my kids probably wouldn’t need to take care of me if I get alzheimer, chances are that I will choose to end my life while I still can, provided that there’s still no cure for the disease in future.
I see no point to burden my family for allowing myself to live a longer but meaningless life. Sounds pessimistic for a 27-year-old.. don’t take me as a role model ok?
October 26th, 2006 at 8:02 am
You have a good mum who is not selfish when she told you if she has Alzheimer then just send her to an old folk home. There are not many parent like that when they are old because some of them say, it is “pay back time!” If you hear your parent telling this to you, how would you feel? Not all old folk parents are easy to handle but as children we need and try to do our best.
October 26th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Thought provoking. I too promished to take care of my parents even though my mum told me that she wants to stay in a retirement community. In Malaysia, Rahil grew up with 3 generations including her grandmother and great grandmother. I think it did her (and us) good
October 26th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
“Pay back time…” I actually have friends that their parents boldly told them something similar. Nothing wrong with that though, in Asian culture people should take care of their old parents, and expected to do so.
My mum and me are thinking the different way because we have gone through a difficult period with my grandma, and we understand how difficult it is. We are happy for taking good care of my grandma, but we do understand that we need to seek for alternatives in future if it’s happening to us instead.
I believe most people are filial and have the heart to take care of their old folks, just that I doubt most people are prepare if there’s diseases like Alzheimer involved.. and seems like in Malaysia there’s not enough help center that provide guidance in dealing with Alzheimer.
Adam.. growing up with grandparents (and parents) is definitely a blessing. I believe it helps people to see life in more perspective, and to understand life better.
October 29th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
[...] I just blogged a few days back referring to the Petronas Raya commercial, thinking that young Malaysians these days don’t know how to handle old folks (with Alzheimer in particular). [...]